Dr. Ebeny Mbah Tendo

Dear Ni Eben,

I believe you understood how much we loved you but I am not sure we got a chance to analyze the reasons to you. It may be too late, but I am still going to summarize the reasons here because I know you will understand since you have now risen to the rank of an angel. I am sure most of us will agree with me to the following:

1. First of all, you were just an awesome and coolest brother anyone could ever ask for.
2. Every time we got a chance to be with you, you made us feel so comfortable and felt so free to discuss our issues, you gave us the best advice and passed on words of wisdom as best as you possibly could based on your experience and it was up to us to make a choice
3. For those of us who love life like you did, you made us feel so free and so comfortable around you, to enjoy life and have as much fun as we could – we talked we ate, we drank and we danced. This was of course the case during our last reunion in Washington DC. with Ma Ngoh, Emman and Kenneth. I am so grateful that God gave us a chance to be together again; I just didn’t anticipate it would be our last meeting.
4. You always looked out for our best interest. You repeated the same wish that Pa wished me many years ago without even knowing he did. You said it in Meta but I will try quoting it here in English – you said, “May your Chicken never catch a bad Cricket”. I will hold this good wish close to my heart until we meet to part no more.

I remember crying to you for having not been home after so many years; you said and I quote, “you will come home and when you do, I will have a room ready for you”. I anxiously looked forward to the opportunity and yes indeed it shall soon come to pass except that when I do come home, the room will be there ready for me but it will be an empty house, fill only with your spirit and not your presence. I was hoping that when I get home, we will have one more time to talk and celebrate my coming home after so many years but, I guess this was not one of God’s plans.

Ni, I will miss you so much! I will miss your calls from Canada telling me when you will be coming to the U.S and where you will be. I will miss driving many hours just with the thought of coming to see you either at Kenneth’s or in D.C; but I also understand you have gone ahead to join family crew that had gone ahead to intercede and prepare a place for us. Tell them that we still love and miss them so much while waiting for when God will give us a call to join them and now, including you. Don’t forget to thank them as well for watching over us. I trust that you are the right person to deliver this message on my behalf.

Last but not least, before I go I have one more important request to make; now that you have acquired the power of an angel please join God to help watch over Mamie for us; we still so badly need her here.

Fair well Ni Eben; sorry, you showed me a sign, but I could not pick up on it until it was too late. I will cherish all the great memories of you!!!

Your Cousin,
Flo Tenguh Amandong

Ni Ebeny,
As a cousin, i feel so sad that you are gone. I remember when you returned from Canada around 1987. I remember you took us to a night club in Mbengwi. I remember how lively you were and how shy i was when you asked us to feel free in the club. I remember how you told me to make sure that I study something that would enable me to be my own boss in case I am unable to find a job. I still remember how proud you were being your own boss. I have not seen you for a while now. I wish you a peaceful rest in the Lord's kingdom. 

DEAR  EBENY

I WILL MISSED YOU GREATLY. YOUR  PHONE CALLS ; YOUR  KIND  WORDS WILL BE MISSED  GREATLY. YOU DID SO MUCH  FOR EVERY ONE ; YET  WE  WANTED MORE. I REMEMBER YOUR  SUPPORT  ON THE 28TH  DURING MY 30YH MARRIAGE CELEBRATION. YOU SMILED AND JOKED . HARDLY DID I KNOW IT WILL BE THE LAST. WHERE   DID WE  GO WRONG  THAT YOU DECIDED TO ABONDON US SO SOON?

I KNOW  YOU ARE   LOOKING   AT US. SINCE   WE ARE  CHRISTAIN  I KNOW WE  BE  SEEING YOU  SOMEDAY. YOU HAVE ONLY GONE  TO PREPARE  A PLACE  FOR US. ALL THE PROBLEMS  OF THIS WORLD   ARE NOW  BEHIND YOU.

DEAR  DR  EBENY TENDO I MISSED YOU

It is still so unreal to me that you are no longer here with us Uncle.
you taugh me so much that I know I will use one day in life just to be half as successful as you where.
You were alwas a joy to be around and like i said i learned so much from you uncle.
Thank you for all the knowledge and wisdom you passed onto me.
thank you for the laughters and the tears
thank you for the disciplne you installed in me
thank you planting the first seeds in my finances and
thank you for being YOU!
there is never going to be another person on this earth like you and even though
I know you are up there looking down on us and protecting us
I still miss you so much. leaving this worls on January 28th
( my Birthday) i know you and I now share an unbreakable bond even stronger than before.
I wish you were still here with us but we know God has a plan
and a time for all of us and i just  wait till the day we all meet again in his Glory. I love you and I will miss you!

To my cousins Wori, Akwi, Amy, Ane, Enih, Eyole, Patience and Ngwi I know this is a very difficult time for you guys but i want you to know you are always in my prayers and you are not in this alone. we are all by your sides.

 Dear Daddy
       Just to tell  you  how unfair it is for you to have abandoned me after telling me contrast in you that faithful day when we went to Semme beach and you were teaching me how to do a dead man's float!All the weekends spent on the beach with Uncle Paul,Aunty Fri,Enih,Atam and Ning,the Fruday evenings spent in hotels eating diner and the family dinner we had in Lewat Hotel when Akwi came to Cameroon.algal those Pharmacy parties and BOBAN parties at home...Lovely memories...Who is going to call me again "Avu Ngum",tell me how my I have a "Makandi 10.5"...when will I fly like a little Angel singing the Tendo's Goodnyt song?
        We were so much alike,when we sit and laugh about the jokes  and stupid things people make...when you will cook for us and make us dance.You always said I was your future law year,and when I told you I was going to be a Pscyhologist,you said I was going to counsel you!You alwaymake de me dmy things more than the other and in those days I thought it was because you hated me,but I came understand stand that it was because you knew I could do more than I did.You made though and direct.You thought mou how to air out what was troubling me and don't care abouthief per otire person was angry or not,in so far as I told the trut.You always said,"Eyo,you belleh no be store"...and you were so proud of me.I enjoyed you money,your love,I endured your beatings and your rebuking but I always came back even if I was angry and you will apologize...
         I remember the ime you made us decorate the Mango tree as a Christmas  tree so that we could have the biggest Christmas tree in Douala.You loved distinction  andyou made proud of allying myself a Tendo!I have always been so proud of being a Tendo and I am still proud of being one...all so beautiful me with my beautiful Daddy...Ther was no match for the two us!Now you have left me without a partner...No valentine,no Daddy,No love and no Pride...
I will forevle remember you and will always remember how good you smelled"I told you I was going to seize you perfumes and you said it wasn't for my age and said somebody when I could work my own money I will get it.Now where will you be when I work that money and decide to give treats as you gave me!My Prince,I cannot stchicory in...wo is going to get me up to go do my chores,to go visit Grandma,in Ba after breakfast and all that coffee smell on the house late at night cos you were working up late!Just so stubborn as I am!My role model,were are you now...better come back to be before I get angry Daddy,ou know na?You promised Daddy that you will always be my love and that it was f or ever the two of us...

LOVE YOU! 

My heart is heavy as I write this, nevertheless, i have to.  I want to share with the world what this Man, Friend, Grand Uncle, Uncle, Brother, Father meant to me.  Uncle was my friend, adviser, counselor and I was the same to him.  I could share with him all the details of my life without any fear of judgement.  He advised me in all aspects of my life, career and relationships.  Uncle would also make contact with me to seek advice about his health and how to care for some of the ailments that bothered him.  That's the level of closeness we had.  Whenever he was visiting North America, he always made time to spend with us in Philadelphia during the summer holidays, especially after his Grand Niece Ferrin was born.  We would go to restaurants, and he was adamant about sitting outside because he hated being cold while being inside the air conditioned space.  We were sure to take him to our favorite restaurants.  We loved sharing a bottle of wine and stories about our lives, his trips around the world, to California to see Akwi and Wori, Vancouver, life in Douala, Mbengwi and reminisce about our walks in the park in Philadelphia.  Uncle disliked eating Cameroonian Cuisine when he visited, his reason " I eat that when I'm home, so why should I eat it here again.  Please make me some American food".  :-)

I sit back and read the tons of emails between us and I feel blessed to have had such a connection with him.  The times we spent in Douala with him in my childhood.  He was the first person to take my siblings, my mom and I to that popular beach in Limbe, Cameroon. The first SUV in Douala I rode in while a kid was his......the famous Mitsubishi Pajero!  When Uncle returned to Cameroon from Vancouver back in the 80's, my siblings and I always made our mom take us to visit him so we can enjoy the American treats he had at home.  Pharmacie Mondiale was the State of the Art Pharmacy back then, and we were always so proud of that.  He was a dear friend to my mom. 

Uncle thank you for the many memories you have given me.  I will always be grateful for the relationship I had with you.  I love you and will miss you eternally!
  

You were the uncle with whom there were no taboos. We talked about everything and anything. Music was a passion. You introduced me to great music...Fela, Miles Davis. Miss you lots and the open and honest relationship we had.

My eyes filled up with tears when I heard the news :(

Wori, Akwi, Amy, Ane, Enih, Eyole, Patience and Ngwi, no words can make losing your dad take the pain away
But I want you to know,
I pray you will be comforted
I pray for faith to uphold you
And loving memories
To help you smile again

Uncle Ebeny,
You will be sadly missed along lifes way
Quietly remembered everyday
No longer in our life to share
But in our hearts you're always there

Nini, you inspired me to be what I am today. As a little boy, all I wanted was to grow up and be like you. You were not perfect, but who cares about bing perfect. I don't even know how to say "Nini Eben is dead"  Is that realy true?
I guess I will come to accept it some day.  I finally got the courage to talk to my mother yesterday and all she coul say to was "Ebeny has decided to leave us"  Why? Why? Why?